Blue Christmas

How very old. 

 

I’m back here again, though i have so many new apps i’m at, for example, twitter and tumblr.

So much. I’ve been through so much. In a good and bad way, of course. I never regret anything, the good parts and the not-so-good parts. For it is the flavour of life.

Anyway, i think this blog shall remain here, a infinitesimal string of words, musings and at last, treasures of a sixteen-going-on-seventeen hobbledehoy. 

after june #2

again the tile lacks any creativity.

very busy these week: once the june hols ended, a dreary deluge of homework and test schedules immediately erupted from hands of the slave drivering level’s test coordinator ( i wonder who that is?) (and this is creative! spare me.), in into the liquid computer and out into our solid, fecal lives.

Um.

Maybe fecal wan’t that precise a word.

Anyway.

Today was the not-so-official end of the harry potter CHILDHOOD. i’m a little teary. But i will never get tired of HP. That means stealing away into the night and reading a HP book!

And my physics project is in crumbles. I dont know why today my group members are so  lackadaisical–maybe beacuse of the chinese test tomorrow–but im bearing the short, sharp poke of the shortest stick. (!)

Sigh. Maddening shroud again.

When will i stop sighing and when will this maddening shroud clear?

I wish i wasnt a muggle. I wish my elder wand was real. Then i would  ZAP away the sadness, anger, despair and all the other crap ( got this line from madtv)

And i am lastly, a big, big, fool.

Eek. I feel like a small child now, being extremely inconclusive, and randomly forming hypothesis and postulations. In the end all my wild guesses all turned me away.

On the very bright side, my latent sciency alter ego has awaken!

ignore j,k,l.

 

 

Hey there! I’m most probably talking to myself,anyway. Yes, so I haven’t updated in a few months, partly because I’m on a mictoblogging app named twitter (I know it lacks originality) so I’ll be updating my life from there. Where shall I start my update? Hmm. Let’s just say I’ve become more mellowed during these few months. I’ve been through a lot. Well, not deaths, but other….trials. I don’t know how to put it succinctly, but I’m in a state of fermentation now. It’s partly due to the humdrum of school life, but also a lot of mindset changes and attitude (towards life, love) adjustments. I could’ve been quite bizarre and quirky. Most people should know that by now. But it’s okay……… Besides, I’ve also thought about doin lots of meaningful activities during the June holidays, but I’ve not done any of them. Like going for guitar, dance, volunteer and study.Sloth is bad, bad. Anyway, I haven’t been writing recently, so my brain juices are a little dried up now. Oh, and I haven’t touched on any books that I’ve bought yet, shall read them when I go to Hawaii and the end of the year! I’m quite excited. Besides unfinished plans, I’ve also had a few…losses. Well again not physical deaths, but rather sort of a death in the sense of temporal gaps and differences in thinking. Especially two losses.However one was forsaken by me, and the other, mysteriously forsaken by the other person with no rhyme or reason. it’s like what one of my favorite singers TS has gone through and described in Speak Now. Gosh. And her songs are so helpful and relatable. And Gaga. Both of them
are amazing! So glad for their music. Anyway I want to get back to writing. I know my works arent works of a genius, bit I do hope they get published someday. Though it’s hard for Singaporean literature to be widely celebrated. Singapore is a funnyy country. Everything we have and like are imported. We don’t like our local music scene nor do we read local literature. We are highly globalised and have an expensive and xenophilic taste. Well. It’s only the right of a 16 year old to dream big,right? Sometimes I shoot myself down too much. And in no particular association to my random amalgamation of rubbish thoughts, I want a dog.

fireworks

‘so this is the end, of you and me, we had a good run, i’m setting you free”- YMAS

I’m getting over you

one..two..three…gone.

but you still have to exist. You’re autotelic.

and fifteen years later… a new kind of tabula rasa

too much of everything gives you nothing.

a sudden urge to privatize this glade, but it would be wrong. Like seeing litter in the forest: an abomination.

sometimes i wonder if i am too O: a terrible and inhuman existence! But im far from excellent, or a genius. That’s…. 124 others.

Now now, i dont think i have some kind of  VIP-er Complex. Which may be a good or bad thing, depending on who’s judging.

REM. LMR. This is really scary. The stars are really half as bright, i feel myself traversing between the past and present, imploding, and reforming, imploding, reforming……

Wide i’d wonder, really.

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just perhaps

we can mend the wounds we’ve inflicted.

I’d like it better when you were on my side!

eeeeeeeeeeek. still very busy.

あきらめる

You and you and you have trampled on the jewel of my past. You and you and you have committed the ultimate sacrilege. I am too pure for you and you and you.

I am going home. Home is here.

My glade, my retreat, heaven.

And you and you and you cannot and will not be allowed to enter this glade. It is just too bad.

You

*point**point*

busy as hell this week.

Find myself, calm down, go with the flow, poetry. Orginal ones.Run away, or attack: